Thoughts and Actions

Turtles All the Way Down

This flow traces the distinction between involuntary thoughts and chosen actions as Aza struggles to apply that distinction under pressure.

increasing

Bearing strength in each event

decreasing

Thoughts That Arrive Unasked Thoughts That Arrive Unasked from "Turtles All the Way Down". Thoughts That Arrive Unasked An unwanted mental event Aza Holmes experiences intrusive thoughts that crowd out conversation and ordinary awareness.

Thoughts That Arrive Unasked from "Turtles All the Way Down". Thoughts That Arrive Unasked An unwanted mental event Aza Holmes experiences intrusive thoughts that crowd out conversation and ordinary awareness.

Thoughts That Arrive Unasked An unwanted mental event Aza Holmes experiences intrusive thoughts that crowd out conversation and ordinary awareness. She does not choose their arrival, even when she knows they are frightening or unlikely. Agency becomes complicated The novel distinguishes having a thought from endorsing it, while showing how difficult that distinction feels in a spiral.

A Therapist's Comparison A Therapist's Comparison from "Turtles All the Way Down". A Therapist's Comparison A passing car Dr. Karen Singh compares an unwanted thought to a car passing by someone at the roadside.

A Therapist's Comparison from "Turtles All the Way Down". A Therapist's Comparison A passing car Dr. Karen Singh compares an unwanted thought to a car passing by someone at the roadside.

A Therapist's Comparison A passing car Dr. Karen Singh compares an unwanted thought to a car passing by someone at the roadside. The person need not get into it or travel where it goes. A limited choice Aza learns that choice may concern her response to a thought, not whether the thought appears.

The Car She Enters The Car She Enters from "Turtles All the Way Down". The Car She Enters A metaphor meets difficulty Before seeing Davis Pickett, Aza remembers Dr.

The Car She Enters from "Turtles All the Way Down". The Car She Enters A metaphor meets difficulty Before seeing Davis Pickett, Aza remembers Dr.

The Car She Enters A metaphor meets difficulty Before seeing Davis Pickett, Aza remembers Dr. Singh's comparison and tells herself she need not follow her fear. The thoughts intensify, and she feels carried away by them. No simple failure The scene shows that understanding a strategy does not guarantee the ability to use it under pressure.

Action Under Compulsion Action Under Compulsion from "Turtles All the Way Down". Action Under Compulsion A dangerous response Aza Holmes drinks hand sanitizer because her obsessive fear insists it may protect her from infection.

Action Under Compulsion from "Turtles All the Way Down". Action Under Compulsion A dangerous response Aza Holmes drinks hand sanitizer because her obsessive fear insists it may protect her from infection.

Action Under Compulsion A dangerous response Aza Holmes drinks hand sanitizer because her obsessive fear insists it may protect her from infection. The action is not a rational solution to the danger she imagines. Thought and responsibility The crisis exposes the gap between knowing a thought is irrational and being able to resist the behavior it demands.

Practice, Not Mastery Practice, Not Mastery from "Turtles All the Way Down". Practice, Not Mastery A thought remains possible Aza Holmes continues to experience fear and intrusive thoughts after changing medication.

Practice, Not Mastery from "Turtles All the Way Down". Practice, Not Mastery A thought remains possible Aza Holmes continues to experience fear and intrusive thoughts after changing medication.

Practice, Not Mastery A thought remains possible Aza Holmes continues to experience fear and intrusive thoughts after changing medication. She does not interpret each thought as proof that she has failed to recover. A modest form of agency Treatment and support create more room between a thought and an action without promising complete control.

Early September, during Aza's first described spiral

After Aza returns to treatment with Dr. Singh

The night Aza and Davis meet again at Applebee’s

During the hospital crisis after the accident

After discharge, during Aza's return to school